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Heavy with expectation -

It wasn’t planned -

Yet once heard

The news is more than welcome


Mixture of joy and fear 


‘What ifs’, ‘who knows’

Hope arises

As bosom swells


But one Saturday morning

Cramps and pain

Signal not all is well

Doctor confirms the end


It was never meant to be

Empty egg

A mistake

A dud, they said


Now I wait

But it’s another story

Will I precipitate

Or let it come naturally?


I let it happen

One afternoon in September

In beautiful surrounds

On precious ancestral grounds


I had just started to get attached to her

Too late

Her life is torn, pours out of me

I’m drained, abandoned


She wasn’t yet formed

How can I miss

What never really existed?

Still I mourn



Secretly, part of me is gone 

But in my mind and body

She has a name

Her spirit lives on.



Celina is a researcher who dreams of devoting the majority of her time to writing. She finds inspiration from her European and West Indies origins and Australia has been her home for 15 years. She can be contacted at



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