In the hospital with her dengue-stricken daughter, a woman writes about, among other things, hope.

 

August 5, 2010     Please pray for my daughter's life

My daughter is in ICU. She had fever on Thursday evening, and on Friday morning it was diagnosed as dengue. She was admitted in hospital on Saturday, and by Monday her platelet count fell from 218, to 211, to 153 to 22 thousand. (Normal is 150,000 to 450,000)

She received two platelet transfusions and today her platelet count is stable at 43,000 – very low but not falling any lower again. But her lungs are half filled with fluid. Her kidney, liver, pancreas and gall bladder are affected. She is on catheter and respirator and is being fed through IV.

Last night was the worst – I watched her suffer acute pain till 5 30 a.m., after which it was found the pain was due to inflamed pancreas and she was given a safe painkiller. Although she is alert and positive, she looks drained. Her eyes are puffy, her face has a bluish grey tinge, her abdomen is four times its usual size and she feels the catheter is uncomfortable, and being breathless makes talking very difficult for her.

The doctor said yesterday to “wait and watch”. Today, they are saying, “She is very sick.” I am very scared.

Yesterday in pain she told the doctor: “It should be like this, this pain is really unbearable it should be shared between children and parents.”

Yesterday in pain she told the doctor: “It should be like this, this pain is really unbearable it should be shared between children and parents.”

I have never felt so helpless in my life, it all depends on how long the virus lasts – generally not more than eight days, but still there is fluid in her body. All the capillaries are leaking (because her blood has become very thin)… once the dengue fever goes – the fluid will be absorbed, the dehydration will end, she will start feeling comfortable...

 

 

August 9, 2010     My daughter needs a miracle.

My daughter Tejaswee needs a miracle and all the strength possible to fight this. We need to stay positive and very strong. We are going to be walking out of this hospital together. There are complications but she has fought each one. She is young and healthy – she is fighting very hard.

Update:

Doctors are saying “Miracles happen. Pray.”

Please pray for Tejaswee Rao.

 

 

August 13, 2010     She will live forever in our hearts.

 

Born: 19th Jan 1991.

Died: 11th Aug 2010.

It's difficult for me to talk about it now. All I would say is we have decided it would help tremendously to channel our grief in some positive direction.

A relative hugged me during her funeral and said: “Now this grief will go with you to your grave. Till the last moment of your life, till your last breath, this baby you gave birth to and loved is going to make you cry.” And suddenly something snapped.

My daughter was an easy child to raise. My dearest friend and my closest ally, a confidante, a companion; we talked endlessly, we shopped, we read, we laughed at the same things and I never had to face any of the parenting problems one hears about. I feel I was extremely fortunate to have her with me for the best 19 and a half years of my life. The thought of crying and not smiling fondly whenever I thought of her – a girl who never made anybody cry… I knew I did not want that.

We have all decided to talk about her without bitterness. One of her closest friends visited me and helped reactivate her Facebook account. (I had persuaded Tejaswee to deactivate it last month because I felt she was spending too much time on Facebook).

We have decided to understand that everybody has to go some day, but she left earlier than we would have liked.

We have decided to see which of her causes we can support. One of the thoughts is to start a scholarship in her name, maybe a fund. I would appreciate suggestions for this. And also any suggestions that help us stay positive.

 

 

Note: Please read Tejaswee's last post from her blog, “A Letter to the Future”.

 

This post was originally published on The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker in August 2010.

 

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